Basic Principles of Internet Safety with Children

 

I remember when I was a kid and my family first introduced major technology to our household. I was thrilled at the idea I could go online and find any information I wanted (granted, the internet was much younger and less advanced then, and the thing I was most excited about was popping the disc for Nancy Drew: Treasure in the Royal Tower into the computer and solving that mystery no less than 6 times). When I look back at this stage of my life, I remember the rules and guidelines my parents set for me and my siblings when it came to how we were allowed to use the computer, and admittedly, it feels like that was a lot simpler to execute then than it is now.

The digital age we live in can be intimidating for a parent. Between social media, the internet, online gaming, and the constant availability of news and digital information, it can be overwhelming to manage as an individual adult, let alone as a parent acting as a gatekeeper for your children’s online activity and presence. Parenting guides can offer a myriad of different tools and ideas about how to approach internet safety with kids, but very few of them offer insight into how to put the principles and ideas they share into practice.

In the modern and increasingly interconnected culture we live in, it’s vitally important to approach internet safety with kiddos, however complex it may seem. The more advanced technology becomes, the more challenging it may seem to navigate how to prevent exposing your children to harmful, disturbing, or dangerous material. The unfortunate truth is, you cannot shield your children from every piece of negative content on the internet. But you can prepare them for what they might run into by setting up structures and boundaries to help limit that exposure and make it safe for your child to come to you when they do run into something that upsets them or seems out of the norm:

General Things to Talk about with Your Kids:

  • Not everyone on the internet is who they say they are: Especially for younger kiddos, it’s important to explain that we can’t know for sure whether or not someone on the internet is who they say they are. Unfortunately, this can be a scary thing to hear and may be a difficult thing to understand. Starting the conversation, however, is foundational for internet safety.
  • Personal information should stay personal: Teaching kiddos that things like passwords, addresses, phone numbers, last names, and photos should never be shared on the internet. Kiddos will likely ask why, and depending on your kiddo’s age and emotional maturity, you can give different answers.
  • For younger kiddos, explaining that that’s how you keep yourself safe may be enough. For more curious kiddos, saying that some people may use that information to do things that aren’t safe or aren’t nice may be a good option.
  • It’s important to lean into what you know about your child and to avoid using triggering language like: “someone can track you down” or “someone could come to the house.” Focus on keeping your tone calm and your language as neutral as possible. If kiddos ask more direct questions, you can provide more direct answers.

  • Have clear steps for what your child can do if they see something that makes them uncomfortable: Create a “plan of action” with your child for when they come across something scary, uncomfortable, or inappropriate. Instruct your child to look away, leave the device, or leave the room. Then, go to a trusted adult and explain what happened. Adults, it’s critical that if this happens, you do not get upset with your child. You want it to be safe for them to come to you, so be mindful of your own fear and discomfort that may arise, and do what you can to keep yourself calm to create a safe environment for kiddos to bring up concerns.
  • Teach kiddos not to click pop ups: You never know where a pop up is going to lead, so the best practice is to not click them at all. Let kiddos know that misleading ads may pop up with appealing promises that may also be unsafe. The best option when pop ups appear is to close them immediately or to have your kiddo get a trusted adult.
  • Extra Tip: You can also set up/install a pop-up blocker on your device(s) to prevent this in most cases. Some pop-ups are necessary, but almost all pop-ups allow for you to set certain websites as safe or allow one-time exceptions. Fontbonne University has a quick how-to PDF guide on how to do this on Safari, Chrome, and Firefox. If you do use a pop-up blocker, talk with your kiddos about what it would look like if they need to access a necessary pop-up and how you’ll help them navigate that.

  • For teens and tweens, discussing online predators more directly is important: Tweens and teens need to be more aware of online predators. Talk about warning signs to look out for and the permanence of online data, especially in the context of things like sexting and social media. Remind your kiddos that safe adults won’t ask them to keep secrets or pressure them for personal information.
  • Talk about Cyberbullying: For kids of any age, it’s important they recognize cyberbullying and know what to do when they see it or are a victim of it. Creating a safe space between you and your child where they know they can come to you without fear is essential.
  • Encourage your kiddos to use safe and/or educational websites: Websites like PBS Kids, Khan Academy, Cool Math Games, ABC Mouse, SesameStreet, and Scholastic can offer fun, safe, and educational online experiences. MilwaukeeWithKids created a wonderful list: 50 Free Educational Websites for Kids in 2025.

Things YOU Can Do:

  • Make a game out of it: Write different types of information on paper along with people or online spaces, then have your kiddo match safe information with safe spaces to share it.
  • Set up Parental Control Settings on Your Kid’s Device(s): These can help filter out inappropriate content and establish safe digital boundaries. InternetMatters provides 99 free how-to guides for parental controls on various platforms.
  • Limit Your Child’s Access to Social Media: Social media is mostly unfiltered and difficult to monitor. It’s best to delay access until your child understands online safety. Start with time limits and parental controls to help them ease into social media responsibly.
  • Limit What Apps Your Kid(s) Can Download: Use controls to prevent kids from downloading apps you haven’t vetted. Take time to research apps with your child and explain your reasoning for allowing or disallowing them.
  • Keep yourself calm: Speak gently and stay calm during difficult conversations. Stay curious, not reactive. If your child admits to something concerning, thank them for their honesty, calmly issue the consequence, and reassure them of your love and support.

The internet can be a terrifying thing for a parent, but you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you set the right rules for your family and protect your kids online. A strong foundation of open communication and mutual trust is your best defense against online threats.

Learn more about Principles of Internet Safety with Children check these references.

Location: Madison, WI, USA

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